Author Archives: Victor

SECRET LIVES

RUMINATIONS* luddle luddle luddle my Saturday goes closing my eyes holding my nose luddle luddle ludle my Saturday goes. ~ the more I stand the taller I am backyard neighbours growing weed the more I stand the more I see/d    ~ hallucinations our topic for today never quite certain I fall to my knees

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ON ABJECTION

“I am abject, that is mortal and speaking” Powers of Horror,  An essay on Abjection,  Julia Kristeva, Columbia University Press, New York, 198 “I am abject, that is mortal and speaking”[1]  I actually met Julia Kristeva in Toronto the day the Blue Jays won the world series. Her texts, translated in to English, (I know

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Posted in Abject Alphabet (Fits and starts), ARCHIVES, Blog, My Daily Fog, My Life in Pieces, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

DIPPING A BUCKET IN COLD WATER

I have been NO I am writing MANIFESTOS. I like to figure 5 is enough. Remember before capital letters were promoted to uppercase in keeping with the type room and styling type. Never you mind! I am up to five manifestos, would easily seem to be enough.  Listem. Breathe, Suffer, Desire, Suffer, and Love.  PERSIST

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A DOG’S LIFE

Murray Toews is a hard-working guy, devilishly modest about his talent making images. He is kind, and a good friend.  He has some invisible disabilities (oops) and something physical/biological that affects his eyebrows. We met when I was publisher of Rhubarb and he was,  first our Visual Arts Editor, then eventually conjuring images for our

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TOO DISTURBED

Warning: SHIT abounds TOO DISTURBED Let me tell you, I can’t find shit. Ok, I’ve found shit, I remember the joke what’s warm and brown and crawls up your leg~ homesick shit. Should have told that to the furious nurse when I was lying in mine, abjection like Kristeva writes, Cast Off! I may be.

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LONG BEFORE JULY 19 2022

My lungs I was a child during the polio epidemic in the 50s I was only born in 1955 so the worst of the scare passed me by. There was a fella in town but wasn’t so lucky and had irrepairable lung issues and wanted to keep breathing understandably. So he spent most of his

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TIME IN LIFE first cut-up of my own books* Media can’t keep up with all the killing car doors swing open on Portage Avenue I do not find this reassuring though there are days filled with ants and rot the wild geese are gone. Inclined to the sky the Cockshut wheel reels in the blue

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There is really nothing wrong with you. When can I see you next?

Yesterday I met two wonderful mental health professionals. The first was a female psychiatrist, my first woman psych and I believe there is more to know ab0ut being, Alive.She was very clear, “I don’t do psychotherapy depending what you mean. . I described the difference between two of my psychs in Winnipeg and was fine

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REMEMBRANCE OF BOOKS PAST

December 24, 2021 The first 12 books that I remembered in the order I remembered them, revised. The first 12 books that I remembered in the order I remembered them, revised. The Bible – though I believe and say shit like “I’m such an atheist, I’m not an atheist,” and “God is dead, but sometimes

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GHOST-TOWNS IN WAITING

I was debating whether to use all caps; ghost-towns being too small, unworthy of ALL CAPS. A New Yorker reviewer used a fine bit of word play with allusions to place before it was empty. This phrase “ghost-town in waiting”  seems aptly suited to some-one like me,  my brain toying with undiagnosed  early stages of dementia.

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