Selected Readings by Victor Enns. Order Always Breathe online.
WAVES
THE SCALE OF MY MISFORTUNE
Like everything about me
the scale of my misfortune
frightens those about me
as my mother said though tell me
Tell me something anything
before I’m dead. Don’t make
me plague your dreams, like last
night wanting you to drive us home
dad asking where you hid his flat cap
bullying you down Main Street
Garry already in the driver’s seat
waiting to turn into the Exchange.
Consider angels on your shoulders
Arguing the afterlife is better
cleaner after all, no more
toilet tissue tearing
No more picking up
after your pooch let’s
print the form MAiD to order
give you some time to think it over
music we’ll choose together
but none live no deep dive
I gave away my gear sum time
ago we’ve never made it under
Water will float your boat, we’ll
pack it with your remaindered
lines drones will drag you out to sea
my tender button brought aflame
saying my best goodbye,
my cheeks blushing,
again and again waves
waves to see you go
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RENOVATIONS
Glenlea Mennonite Church Sunday morning, once upon a time before renovations.
I had a vivid dream. I was invited to go to the consecration of the new Glenlea Mennonite church. The place was packed and I had just been dropped off with a ride on call later in the afternoon, if they were so kind to offer lunch. They weren’t nor was there even a church bulletin. But they had a major av station like in Bethel Mennonite church. I was not sure who I rubbed shoulders with but they seemed to think they knew me. Then somebody large, let’s call him Grant Klassen who told everyone to stay in their seats, specially designed for this church. The lights went out and the roof opened!!! There where one or two other tricks the roof could do like turn it into God’s heavenly sky-dome covered in case of rain, the church goers would stay dry to gaze amazed at the reconstructed heavens.
So once that was done, what now? There was some undercurrent of ok what are we doing here. No coffee. No wohin whoher? Nothing, and I couldn’t find my phone to call for my ride so I thought what the hell. Kiddin me! Hitchhike, but as I was walking through the parking lot I found my friend Gerhard just standing there but I was not able to tell who hew was driving for. He looked around, looked around for someone else an cd said. It’ll be fine. He opened the passenger front seat, and there I was riding shotgun in a RAV, a little higher off the ground than previously, which Ii appreciated and I told him. He did a u-ee and off we went back to Winnipeg.
THE SCALE OF MY MISFORTUNE
ANGELS ON MY SHOULDER
the scale of my misfortune
frightens those about me
as my mother said though tell me
Tell me something anything
before I’m dead. Don’t make
me plague your dreams, like last
night wanting you to drive us home
dad asking where you hid his flat cap
bullying you down Main Street
Garry already in the driver’s seat
waiting to turn into the Exchange.
Consider angels on your shoulders
Arguing the afterlife is better
cleaner after all, no more
toilet tissue tearing
No more picking up
after your pooch let’s
print the form MAiD to order
give you some time to think it over
music we’ll choose together
but none live no deep dive
I gave away my gear sum time
ago we’ve never made it under
Water will float your boat, we’ll
pack it with your remaindered
lines drones will drag you out to sea
my tender button brought aflame
saying my best goodbye,
my cheeks blushing,
again and again waves
waves to see you go
FOUR IN THE MORNING
It’s four in the morning and Gus my tabby cat
Gus offers me a crying towel on his return
leaps onto the open window screen chasing
Birds in the dark the screen falls out so does
Gus waking me from a coarse slumber one
leg on and one leg off I tumble into my wheel
chair rolling far enough to reach the fallen
Screen and the cat came back jumps to rest
on my shoulder purring all I can do is stroke
Petting the cat over and over on my shoulder
purring his panic and mine as well I reach
the flimsy screen (fallen on the roof) pull it into
my room a room of a recluse wanting nothing
so much as the excise of pain storming
my spine once again while Gus rests
his chin on the side of his DIY box lined
with a blanket of stars look he seems to say
I nearly had that pecker head before you
turned the light on and scared him away
By the way do you notice the light is still
on and hoorah you saved the screen, me
I would have been fine he says with a sniff
I’ve lived rough hunted my breakfast many
a morning but this morning I could tell
you needed me on your shoulder, now
back to sleep you poor assemblage
of fear and good fortune good night
let’s be pals in the moonlight sleeping
into another dream hunt of feathers and flight
Goodnight good night Gus says to me
I gave you quite a fright as I tumbled
didn’t I just my four legs spread wild
tumbling outside on the roof side
I mooned the bird and declared
this space and this time as hours
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CAUGHT SPEEDING
Zoom Zoom
SHIFT CHANGE
— He was running away he said, when we pulled him over. I asked him from what, thinking maybe there had been a bar fight after closing, though he didn’t look beat up.
He had been going over 120 in an 80-kilometer zone.
— I wet the bed he replied.
— What?
— I was staying with some friends overnight so I could drive in the morning. I woke up wetting the bed. I was horrified! I fixed everything the best I could, and left a note trying to explain and offering to pay any cleaning costs. I couldn’t face them in the morning. I took my bags…I have never wanted to be in my own bed so much in my life. I just want to go home.
— Where’s home?
— Arnes, just past Gimli. God, can you imagine buying adult diapers in a small town drug store?
— Can I have your license please?
— No worries. It will be clean.
— So I went back to the car and we ran his license and his plates. He was right. He was also an amputee, but seemed fine with his fake leg. There was no need for him to get out of his mini-van. I checked with Todd and he agreed we could let him off with a warning. He’s left, already?
— You had to feel for the guy. I came back to his window and returned his license. Can you imagine what it must be like; he’s not even that old. He was crying and going on about how many more humiliations he would suffer before he would die. Dying is over rated he told me, and death the opposite.
— That worried me a bit so I asked about whether he was in a hurry to meet his maker.
— No, he said. I may welcome death, but I don’t want to kill myself. I haven’t tried to commit suicide since high school. What a mess that was!
— Ok, well take her easy; drive safe.
— That was that. And away he went. A quiet night otherwise. He reached for his coat. I’ll be happy to get home. — Good night, Bob.
ENNS STOMP
I’m looking for a picture of me in an apple tree in my yard in Gretna. Until I find it this will have to do. I must take a break for strudel and coffee.
Inspiration wracks
cough in cough
let me out!
Spit in the tissue
Show is over, top sheet
under my desk, over
foot, where we draw
the line with a biro pen
measures the progress
of another mandolin
shaped swelling hides
under my linen
sheet settles down
dementia yanks
my chin wags
what a drag
boredom opens
the gate I sing
crazier songs
falling under
the apple tree
Stumble bum
I was then still
am angry angrier
stomping on jam
RETURN REFUND POLICY
Never surrender I said to all my writer friends, hell all artists in Manitoba hell in Canada, while lawnmowers mow and weed whackers whack my feet hurt my shoulders hurt. I am doubled over in shame I have not sent a single dis missive hell a single missile in the war against “all people (like me like you)” So there’s a webinar on Revenge writing! Wow that’ll stick them, eh?!!! Gaza is pounded to dust we, and that includers me, look away, look away Trixie Belden! Shame! Let me shout and stamp my feet but while nobody can shoot video to post in fear my Jewish friends will call me Nazi!!!! Shrieking. Shame on us as we grease our over 70 year old knuckles with Diclofenac. I need care now and more of that still to come.
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Slouching
SLOUCHING TOWARD DEMENTIA
Let’s start here. It’s a long road to dementia let’s say it started here in 1977 on Young street in Winnipeg: age 22.
I have been diagnosed with dementia, either Lewy body or vascular, following a six hour test where I did as bad and as well on various kinds of thinking, writing, reading and comprehension tests as my previous “lived experience” foretold. Complications a bound. It’s good to find symptoms and diagnosis early, but it can be also be a sign for self-fulfilling prophecy. Paradox lives here. I have done a slight reorganization of my website. Vicipedia has been moved to the letter V in Archives which are growing larger, and I don’t care. I am also printing many more of my files to donate to the Mennonite Archives in Winnipeg.
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