KYVIV PEEING STATUES
from Wikimedia commons
from Piecers of my Mind/My Body in parts
MY PENIS take 2
for Andy Suknaski, my first encounter with a writer-in-residence at the University of Manitoba.
I went to pee outside, in a trough leading to a hole in the wood portion of our fenced pasture, happy to pee standing up. We didn’t have indoor plumbing yet anyway. I hear Andy Suknaski insist men piss, they don’t pee, especially not in a barn. Andy, I was five years old. Still, he says. Ok. Andy I went to the fence to piss like a man, happy to stand. I realised, a second too late, that I didn’t tuck well enough, after I shook less than three times. In the twinkling of an eye
I caught my foreskin in the zipper, having exuberantly pulled to close. I screamed, and not knowing what to do, ran inside and found my mum
(Andy: ” You did what?!!!) I found my mum who assessed the situation, pinched the offending foreskin, then gave the zipper a quick and hard yank down. Relief was immediate, my sobs subsided. Mum tried hard not to laugh, turned her back, found a cookie, took a breath and handed it to me. “I’m sure you’ll be more careful next time.” Oh, yeah!
There was a time this summer fortunately photo and video free; of a confrontation in the Kelowna General Hospital. That’s tomorrow, with the epilogue on Friday. Stay Tuned.