Doing, Not Being, There


I’ve submitted my new poetry manuscript Music For Men Over Fifty: Songs of Love and Surgery, being called Love and Surgery for short. Now as the song goes “Waiting is the hardest part,” I’m also waiting for a prosthesis, first measurements on Friday at Lawson Prosthetic, 610 Ellice Ave. in Winnipeg. I’m also waiting for the results of Canada Council for the Arts grant result for my next project called “pain room.” Patience I’ve read, is derived form the French “to suffer.”

I have three disabilities on various degrees of the visibility spectrum. My physical disability is easiest to see because I have a below the left knee amputation. It will be a little less obvious when I am using my permanent prosthesis in the fall. Chronic pain is visible only when I mess up my medication or overdo it. Strangers can tell when it’s really bad showing concern and my family and friends anytime by the expression on my face. As a chronic depressive I’ve learned how best to hide my pain (that’s the third disability), but sometimes the mask slips, or my eyes go vacant with either the physical or mental pain, frustrating whoever I’m with at the moment because I’m Not Being There.

I hope to reset to write fiction and a disarming script for my part in the “Lame is Cabaret” on September 14 and 15thThe three stories include (St.) Augustine writing about his encounter with the ghost of Euripides, eventually destroying the Oedipus play, which Euripides is known to have written, but never found. This is a part of my pain room project. More about that later.

Two stories are part of a collection called What Men Do, just barely begun. “Aaron,” the first story needs a major rewrite for a second or third draft, the first draft going back to Willow Island in 2015. The other “Kehler slept with women,” has just begun, with a bit of framing.

I’m investigating the use of Patreon, a site for writes and artists providing opportunity for patron support, usually in the form of a subscription, though one time payments like GoFundMe are always possible. If I can add that feature to this website I will do it. If I need a separate path to my new work in progress I’ll put that on the Patreon platform. This is particularly important if the Canada Council does not fund me for the pain room project. I’ll have some form of subscription or pay as you go for all new work, while continuing to maintain this personal website of what I’ve done.


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