Remember when we say we can never step into the same river twice we acknowledge neither the river or ourselves, are the same changing every moment of every day. My brain has come, is coming, will come apart any moment since I was poisoned by an “addictionist” last July 19. I know, I say, our
... read more.This & That
Coming Apart 141
BELIEVE IN HUMANS EVEN IF IT’S HARDER
A SUCCESSFUL ATHEIST You have a Mennonite sounding last name. How is it possible to believe in nothing after every hymn you’ve sung verses you have memorised, your father’s sermons; Bible stories you have heard religious paintings you have seen and seated yourself at St. Augustine’s desk + under Menno’s hat. (Thanks Murray Toews) History says anything
... read more.SHOOTING HIS CUFFS
WATCH he has seen others do it for over a year or more do it turn their well-turned cuffs and close their hands over the buttons cufflinks, hear that hard not-to-hear hand-cuffs as you now see his partner across the table raise her brows asking if she can, no, may help him he drops
... read more.WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT
July 14, 2023 FAIR CONTROL My psych understood I was after “fair control,” Understand my pain will never get better. Not ever, only intensity changes. Broken up prose like this might get to be a poem but now I am waiting for four pm and my next flight of meds.I’m in wine valley, though
... read more.FALSE START 1 ish
This is the official Look show reading. But not the book the book comes after, hope burns. Name calling has already begun in my brain. Pompus piloty pig. No This is the official reading for the Look show! Sounds better already doesn’t it. That’s another show I’m on about it’s called Listen Here which is formally
... read more.THIS IS THE INTRODUCTION
IMG_1118 Video Director and Camera by Jayden Ryga Written and Produced by Victor (I’m # U) Enns WHERE DOES IT HURT? My stomach hurts, usually where I put my finger in this picture. The internal bleeding has stopped. I suspect a small bleeding ulcer developed by my anxieties preparing for the opening of the
... read more.HOLDING ON
READING A BOOK When I think I’m dying buying a new book is a commitment, only half-hearted since I downloaded it instantly for my e-reader and not for my own library shelf waiting for a diagnosis waiting for a prognosis sounds like (tug your ear) punch in the proboscis bury me not with any Bibles
... read more.DEAD OR ALIVE
‘The moment you tell someone you are sick, an element of doubt enters the conversation.” Source? KEEP THE RECORD STRAIGHT Nowhere does it say, “He almost died.” Let me fill that in for you.”I nearly died.”Ask anyone in ICU at 4 in the morning on Pandosy Street, and hour privileged by poets most famously by
... read more.TIME IN MY HANDS
“I am more of an existentialist the closer I am to running out of existence.” HE said. Today is Thursday my computer tells me so. My colonoscopy is scheduled for Monday, the day after my wife Michelle has her MRI of her brain and her spine. Wonder of wonders LOOK show has a few more
... read more.WHERE IS
THIS IS WHERE All I want is to disappear suck the disappointments I have made down the vortex never to desire never to want never to make give me pain give me shame give me suffering cry cry cry I have towels to wipe my cringing face It’s dark in this hole but I must
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